i was nice to mice

we got an email at work that went something like this: 'we need writers for an our favorite movie rodents feature.' it's true. so i picked a disney classic (as usual). i wasn't as nice as the title of this blog post suggests.

why i've been a bad blogger

his name is serge. bonjour serge!


her name is jenny. his name is daron. they're all pretty cute, huh?

jenny, daron and serge are three of my favorite people (yes dogs are people too) and i'm lucky that they have been in l.a. for the last two weeks renting an amazing house in the silver lake hills, minutes away from me! jenny is working on her kick ass novel and daron is sizing up the city to see if he should rent studio space for his business black iris, a company that composes music for commercials. i want them to stay so we can all be the happy friend-family we were back in brooklyn. i'm sure i will write more when they head back to n.y.c. on tuesday, but until then...

how did they do that?

THIS is the greatest thing i have ever seen on tv...EVER (and i didn't even like the movie)!

it's official: i'm a registered voter and licesenced driver in the state of california!

so get this laid back l.a. story: i went to the dmv today to get my california driver's license, a year too late, and everything is flowing smoothly. i pay $27, ask the guy how much time i have to study before i take the test, he says 45 minutes and so i go sit down to read over my california driving booklet.

as i 'm reading, people are departing the testing room and meeting up with their friends/significant others post exam (i forgot that people do that for you. how nice!!). one guy who met up with a girl sitting behind me burst out with 'it was hard! and, i mean, i've been driving since the 70's!' so i got SUPER paranoid that i was not going to pass (did i mention that back in 1992 i failed my ca drivers test and had to go back and take it again?) that only added to the current anxiety of the situation. plus the guy who said that had long blonde hair, which can only lead an anxious person to believe that he is a native californian- so if it was hard for him, it's gonna suck for me!

then... out of the blue... came this long, dark haired savior who asked 'do you want these?' and in her hand were two failed written tests with the correct answers. well, the goodie-goodie in me wanted them, but had to ask 'isn't this considered cheating?' the brunette (by the way, brunettes are the real angels here, since everyone here is fake blonde, including me, so she gets major BONUS points for just being a good egg) looks at the dmv person who is manning the testing room and asks if it's ok to give me her failed tests. miss dmv says 'you are only cheating if you bring them or the booklet into the testing room.' ok, can't really understand that and can't really argue with it either. so i peruse both tests, go into the testing area and, sure enough, i am handed one of the exact tests dark angel gave me. i think i was done in 5 minutes max and i got an A+ (aka 100%)!! i did not learn anything other than; maybe cheatin' ain't cheatin' here in california! thanks kind savior! hope i can pass on the same good karma soon...

p.s. my license will look NOTHING like this.

harry potter can suck it!

i wrote that (rephrased, of course) in this feature that just published on ew.com. my blurb is at the very end. once again, the comments that follow the feature are killing me! people are saying we have no talent and should be fired for not knowing all things pop culture! this one is my personal favorite:

My greatest pop culture shame is having read anything produced by EW.

those comments only make me stronger! well honestly, they just make me laugh really hard.

patio power

i've had the week off and have spent it getting my patio in entertainment area order! the first item i bought for it was this huge umbrella to try to give the space a little shade. it's not working so well, but it looks good (sometimes isn't that what it's all about?). maybe i need to get another one.

yesterday i bought this chair and table set down the street at my favorite antique store, kohlman quinn. i like it because when i was thinking about what i wanted to do with the space i was hoping for something a little 'french country' but not too feminine. the chairs are totally feminine but the cushions and table have a 70s vibe that goes with the 'architecture' of my place and doesn't make it too girly. more than one person has said 'you need to have me over so we can drink wine on your patio.' well this is where we're gonna do it!

look at this ingenious idea i came up with (tooting my own horn, i know)! i needed to get my water hose off the ground and while i was at home depot yesterday, about to purchase one of those ugly hose holders i remembered i had some unused shelf hooks. so today i pulled out the drill and attached them to the fence. it looks nice with the iron work piece i already had over there, doesn't it?

so i got some plants too. originally, i wanted citrus trees but chickened out in fear that i would kill them or i would pull something trying to drag them from the car to the patio. instead i got some gardenias and a basil plant. i was going to plant them in these silver pails but just as i was about to dive into the soil i saw this big warning: 'not for containers.' shit (i can say that because manure is an ingredient in the soil)!

cute! i still need to paint the fence white and grab some other items, but for now it's good enough for me. next on the list, that i have been putting off, is a trip to the dmv for a california driver's license...

yes this is a picture of my toilet! if you've ever visited me before, you know that when you flush the toilet you just might end up with the cheap handle in your hand. not any more friends! i went the extra mile, splurged on this new one ($12.00) at home depot and 'installed' it today!! flushing has never been so fun!

UPDATE: look it's me and my friend regina hanging out on my new and improved patio (she just bought a new and improved camera and documented our night)! she and cindy came over last night and tonight margaret and andrew joined me for a little vino outside. a patio may just be the best summer home accessory i've ever known...

BREAKING NEWS: cats touching

this happened TWICE today.

nyc: we had a park party

so my lovely jin came to the office wednesday night and suggested that we have a central park party STAT! she brought naughty treats (in the form of menthol cigarettes and mint mojito gum!) and we stopped by the liquor store for a screw top bottle of white wine and then headed over to whole foods for some meals to go...

we navigated our way over to sheep's meadow and the park party ensued. in attendance were none other than my ew faves annie barrett, marc vera (who decided to come to town at the last minute) and francisco rosario!!!!

so we ate and drank and made shameful conversation (even within the hearing range of children!) in the unseasonably cool june weather, which i LOVED!! i even had to put an extra coat on! is it still illegal to drink in central park? i thought so until beer-man (to my right in this picture) showed up with his laundry cart covered in some old brown paper and kept mumbling 'cold beer.' speaking of backgrounds, what's going on behind jin in this pic?? sadly, the park party didn't last as long as some of us wanted. but there were those of us who were cold and others who had errands to run and well, we'd run out of twisty-top white wine. so we bid adieu to the always charming annie and francisco and headed over to my hotel, the hudson, for trouble.

marc, jin and i found our sweet spot in the back area of the hudson bar and ordered way overpriced drinks and people watched. people of note were the you're-about-to-get-naked-so-please-get-a-room-right-now-before-we-all-feel-gross-couple and the work party who showed up and screwed up all of the good music, turning it into bad reggae dance hall/ black eyed pea crap. before we had bits and pieces of great 90's brit pop that kept the drinks flowing for us. i believe my favorite part of the whole evening (in an evening full of great moments) was during a pulp song when jin, who was full of giggles, leaned into marc and shouted 'SO, DO YOU WANT ME TO SHAKE MY BOOTY IN YOUR FACE??' it was so funny i had to text it to myself to make sure i didn't forget!! for jin's version of the good time, you can read all about it here!

in addition to the park party, i was lucky enough to be in town for josh's book (BUY IT!) reading on thurday where i saw eve and brian and finally got to catch up with christine. one night i also took in an off broadway production of eurydice with jeanie, got in some quality time with my friends larry b and lizzie s and made trips to my, how i've missed you, favorite restaurants vynl diner, kate's joint and lil frankie's among others.

as an aside, here is my old ew view of the world wide plaza. the work site of my first photo editor job (senior photo editor at sidewalk.com. r.i.p.). the views from l.a. are nice but not half as interesting. sigh. everytime i'm back in new york, i plot my return with more of a vengence. this week was no different, despite a handful of hilarious misadventures (suitcase breaking, rain, rain, rain, and a train...oh and a nasty cab man etc).

and finally i leave you with this picture of little bit just being himself in bed. pretty in pink. isn't he?

TRUE CONFESSION TIME: at the hudson i helped myself to a bar of soap (because it was quality), a travel size shampoo (ditto) and a washcloth (who buys washcloths?). oh no, i also did the 'dirty' eat the pringles and put the empty can back in the drawer to see if they notice act. i meant to replace, bc it would cost a lot less, but didn't. so hudson, if i end up getting busted (i'm so flustered by how many times i show up on google, i thought this blog of many a blog was lost in the shuffle) i accept the charges. just don't overcharge me, please? i love you!

ok new york. i'll see you in september! xo

i hope we don't get fired (please don't fire us).

thursday night at work annie and i got a little punchy and started trying to come up with a caption for the above pic from the new pirates of the caribbean. we started mock publishing this version to see how funny it would look on the website and for a bit it got stuck and we were worried someone, who didn't share our sense of humor, might discover it. luckily nothing bad happened...so far.

while we were coming up with fake captions (my other favorite was, if you look at the woman in the background doesn't it look like she's asking, 'what you talkin' 'bout pirates??'), i started complaining about how pirates were getting on my nerves and thus came this pirate story for the site. i love the comments where people keep telling me i'm wrong about brandon flowers of the killers wanting to be a pirate. he's really a cowboy!! i didn't know that tidbit was so important. it's just a little lighthearted joke of a story, people.